The good girl archetype
It’s Time for Women to Leave Behind the “Good Girl” Paradigm
Because honestly…
It’s exhausting.
It’s self-abandoning.
And ultimately, it will never serve us.
The “good girl” archetype has been embedded so deeply into our collective psyche that many of us don’t even recognize we’re living from it. It shows up in our relationships, our careers, our friendships, and in the ways we silence or diminish ourselves just to feel safe and accepted.
But the truth is—this is a survival strategy. Not a personality trait.
The Nervous System: A Pathway to Liberation
Working with the nervous system is one of the most profound ways women can begin to reclaim their autonomy. It allows us to gently and safely dismantle patriarchal archetypes like:
“The good girl”
“The sweet girl”
“A woman to love and marry”
These roles might sound harmless on the surface—but they are deeply limiting. They reward appeasement, silence, and emotional labor while punishing self-expression, boundary-setting, and sexual agency.
Reclaiming our nervous systems isn’t just about regulating stress. It’s about reclaiming our right to have needs, desires, boundaries, and full-spectrum emotions—including anger, passion, and pleasure.
A Cultural Divide Is Growing
We are currently witnessing a growing divide among men. Many are beginning to see and question the double standards and outdated models of masculinity—and they’re choosing to evolve. Others, however, continue to drink the poison in order to maintain the illusion of “power.”
And in the center of this cultural reckoning stands the evolving woman—no longer interested in performing for love, shrinking for acceptance, or living by someone else’s rules.
The Myth of the “Good Woman”
In the dominant narrative, a “good woman” is someone to love, to marry, to keep. She is:
Accommodating
Appeasing
Non-controversial
Emotionally available (but never too emotional)
But what about the wild woman?
The one who has needs, who has something to say, who embodies sexual sovereignty and internal authority? She lives within every woman—buried, silenced, maybe even shamed—but she is very much alive, desperately waiting to be integrated.
Through the lens of the old system, she is desirable but not someone to choose.
She is seen as a threat.
She’s “too much.”
Too opinionated.
Too emotional.
Too free.
They’ll call her wild. Promiscuous. Feral.
But here’s the truth:
She is the essence of woman.
Can she be nurturing, selfless, and compassionate and still be untamed, expressive, and sovereign?
Absolutely.
In fact, it’s this integration that creates the most powerful, magnetic women I know.
I’ve met these women.
I call many of them my closest friends.
I am her.
This Is Just the Beginning
There’s so much to unpack here—I could speak on this for days. But the nervous system needs pauses, especially when digesting new perspectives. So, I’ll leave you with this:
What if the “good girl” isn’t who you truly are, but rather a woman’s shadow?
A multifaceted, multi-layered mask made of survival strategies—
A default way of being in the world because it once felt like the only way to stay safe and connected.
And what if… we’ve actually had it backwards all along?
What if true freedom, pleasure, play, joy, and fulfillment come from questioning this mask—and slowly, lovingly, removing it?
The Invitation
Most importantly, how can we—as women—support and empower one another through this transition?
Because right now, a massive collective shift is underway.
One of the most significant parts of that shift is The dismantling of the wounded “good girl.”
And in her place, we have the choice to evolve—
a choice that many women around the world still do not have…
To evolve into a woman who is whole,
a woman who is sovereign,
a woman who is free.
